


Called to Order

by lilgirlost (lil_grl_lost)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Coda, First Time, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_grl_lost/pseuds/lilgirlost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Thank you, sir,” Sitwell said with a small head nod in Fury’s direction. “As I was saying, I’d like to call our monthly meeting of <i>Clint Barton’s a Dumbass</i> to order. So I’ll turn the floor over to Agent Hill.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This takes place between the <i>Be the Center of Attention.</i> and <i>Be Direct / Take Control.</i> in <i>Romancing for Dummies (or Why Clint Should Be Banned from Using the Internet)</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Called to Order

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Azamiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azamiko/gifts).



> This idea was born from a comment from Azamiko and my boredom while at work. So instead of working on my Paper Legends entry, I decided to write this, which I found joy in writing. 
> 
> So thanks Azamiko for the idea and I guess I'm kind of dedicating this to you.

“If everyone would please sit down, I’d like to call our meeting to order,” Sitwell announced above the sound of multiple mouths moving. While he was willing to wait patiently while everyone took their seats and closed their mouths, Director Fury wasn’t.

“Sit down and shut up, you motherfuckers! I ain’t got time for this!”

With a look of fear in their eyes, everyone rushed to find seats, stumbling over each and in some cases, sitting on top of one other in their haste to find an available chair. Once the room was silent, Fury shot Sitwell a pointed look then took his own seat near the front of the room.

“Thank you, sir,” Sitwell said with a small head nod in Fury’s direction. “As I was saying, I’d like to call our monthly meeting of _Clint Barton’s a Dumbass_ to order. So I’ll turn the floor over to Agent Hill.”

Standing from her seat in back of the room, Maria took a quick glance at her fellow suffers and said, “As some of you may have realized by now, Barton has made it his mission to get into Coulson’s pants. And while generally, I wouldn’t have a problem with this; my problem lies with his method, especially when it starts involving other people… namely me. Something needs to be done about him.”

“I won’t go back to sensitivity training for him,” Natasha retorted from somewhere in the back of the room where she was most likely sharpening her knives.

“Nobody expects you too,” Maria countered.

“Fury does.”

Giving Fury a quick glance, Maria saw him nod his agreement, causing her to roll her eyes. Just because they happened to attached at the hip, didn’t mean that Agent Romanov was Barton’s de-facto wrangler; if anything that was Coulson’s job, which he seemed to be failing at if the events of the past month were any indication. “As I was saying, I’m going to open the floor to suggestions and remember people, nothing involving killing or maiming. Barton is still an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D and as much as I hate to admit it, an asset to the organization.”

“I have a suggestion,” Fury grumbled while shooting a pointed glare at Coulson, who was standing at the back of room with a look of almost amusement on his face. “How about you stop playing obtuse and put the man of his misery!”

Phil leveled his gaze at the director then said, “Where’s the fun in that, sir?” Even going as far as to raise his eyebrow, silently daring Fury to call his bluff.

“Damn it, Coulson,” Fury barked. “We are a highly-trained, covert law enforcement agency and I don’t need one of my best people wondering around here like a love-sick puppy. Fix it or I’m sending you back to Stark.”

Phil couldn’t stop his eyes widening ever so slightly; the movement was so slight that unless one had a digital camera with a 400x zoom lens, nobody would have been able to tell the difference, expect for Fury and maybe Barton. “I’ll handle it, sir.”

“See that you do,” Fury ordered before turning to glare at the rest of the gathered agents. “What the hell you looking at motherfuckers, get out. Meeting dismissed!”

Then almost as though puppets having their strings pulled, the group rose as one and scrabbled out of the large conference room with most not managing to meet Fury’s eye as they left. With only Fury, Romanov, Hill, and Sitwell remaining behind, Coulson pushed off the wall and started across the room to the door; but Fury’s voice caused him to pause and listen.

“This had better be the last _Clint Barton’s a Dumbass_ meeting.”

“Understood, sir,” Coulson replied, not bothering to glance back at his boss or his friends, before leaving.

After checking his watch, Phil began walking towards the gym, knowing exactly where he’d find Barton given the time of day. As much as he had enjoyed watching Clint try to woo him because that was exactly what it was—no matter what Fury or anyone else claimed—it was time to put an end to both their miseries.


End file.
